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PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 12:32 am
by Saturn
Well Mr Negativity here will have to decline this :?

PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 12:43 am
by Malia
Saturn wrote:Well Mr Negativity here will have to decline this :?

I truly can't believe you have *nothing* positive to say, Saturn. I mean, really. :roll: Why not consider this a perfect opportunity to challenge yourself! :)

PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 1:41 am
by dks
"Always live life lathered, never dry."


I just had to quote this lovely young's good, sturdy, romantic advice... is it not? :wink:

Good idea, Malia...let me think on this a bit... :?: :idea:

PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 10:19 am
by Saturn
Malia wrote:
Saturn wrote:Well Mr Negativity here will have to decline this :?

I truly can't believe you have *nothing* positive to say, Saturn. I mean, really. :roll: Why not consider this a perfect opportunity to challenge yourself! :)

I have nothing positive to say - life is a continual losing struggle for me, I would not recommend it to anyone :?

PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 2:56 pm
by dks
Whether I agree or not, I respect that you feel that way, Saturn.

I know I have felt that way during many times in my life...

PostPosted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 7:06 pm
by Malia
When you think you have it bad and life is too much of a struggle. . .think of this man and what realistic optimism will get you. It is a powerful tool, my friends, and we all have it within us--we just need to *use* and develop it :)

It's Just a Wheelchair, Not a Batmobile
I shouldn't be called a hero for my disability, but I guess I can't help it if people learn from my story.
By Ben Mattlin

July 24, 2006 issue - For as long as I can remember, people have told me my life would make a good book. They say this because I was born with a severe, progressive neuromuscular disability. I've never walked or stood. I've always used a wheelchair. I'm also a Harvard graduate, a husband of 17 years and the father of two girls under the age of 11. I suppose people envision a sort of "My Left Foot" meets "The Paper Chase."

I couldn't see writing a book about my life. I've always rejected being an "inspiration." Like most people with a disability, I've simply lived my life using whatever resources were at my disposal. It's not like I had any choice. Besides, there are dangers in being put on a pedestal. It may be flattering, but it can also be marginalizing. You're too lofty to date or get job offers, yet not free to feel bad, sad or angry. You can easily be left out, segregated and trampled on.

Yet several months ago I began writing my memoirs. Why did I change my mind? At 43, I'm seeing my experiences in a different light, although I worry more about what legacy I'll leave my kids than what other people think of me.

The truth is, I'm not the only one who has to deal with physical problems. I've had friends my age die. And last summer, at my 25th high-school reunion in New York City, nearly everyone had some sort of health-related restriction. No fat, please. No salt. I'd like to say they all looked great, but honestly, there were wide variations. The funniest were the ones who had facial features—noses and ears, especially—that seemed to have stretched to clownish proportions with age. Our bodies betray us.

Even mine. If I ever thought I was exempt from acquiring other ailments—I've paid my dues, haven't I?—I was embarrassingly, emphatically wrong. Two years ago I developed ulcerative colitis, an incurable digestive disorder. It's manageable, but figuring out which drugs to take and at what dosages is a grueling ordeal. Plus, there are still awful flare-ups.

But dealing with life's curveballs is not entirely unfamiliar. At my lowest points, I wonder if my wife and I will remain healthy enough to enjoy the rest of our lives. But my mood always bounces back. Somehow I'm able to draw on an ever-filling well of optimism. It's a coping mechanism that I've learned from years of living with disability.

Reflecting on this and other lessons I've gleaned from my unusual life is precisely what motivates me to write about it. I know all about accepting, even embracing, variations from the norm. Some limitations are maddening, of course, but others become opportunities for flexing my creativity. For example, when someone is trying to help me but doesn't understand what I'm asking, I can't demonstrate. I'm forced to come up with different words to explain it. "Please move my right hand forward. No, to the front more. Uh, toward the table ... " I think of this when my computer suddenly doesn't do something it's supposed to do. My 78-year-old father marvels at my know-how. But the reason I'm able to solve its glitches is that I'm conditioned not to give up hope.

For me, persistence has been necessary—lifesaving, in a sense. I've had to learn to absorb what's thrown at me, and go on. That doesn't make me anything special. Many, many people face extraordinary odds every day. It's entirely feasible to keep going. Don't get me wrong. I'm too cynical and smart-alecky to be anyone's idea of a Pollyanna; I get angry and depressed. Yet I know firsthand that anything is possible, and so, deep down, how could I be anything but hopeful?

In an era of terrorist attacks, unthinkably high gas prices and a tight job market, perhaps this is a worthy message. As a nation we feel vulnerable, confused, enraged. A sort of nihilism besets our days. How many were killed today in Iraq? What's the latest verdict in the Enron/Tyco/DeLay case? Which hot author is under fire for plagiarism now?

Part of what keeps me optimistic is knowing I've benefited from incredible progress in technology, which has enabled me to drive a motorized wheelchair with the slightest of finger movements and use a computer by voice. I've seen the flowering of the disability-rights movement and the enactment of access regulations. Perhaps most of all, I've managed to find love and have a family. Why shouldn't my luck continue?

And if other people find my story inspirational, I guess I'll just have to live with it.

Mattlin lives in Los Angeles.


PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 9:36 am
by Saturn
I really wish I could say I find stories like this inspirational as you do, and I do in a way but stuff like this makes me feel even worse knowing that people who have worse problems than mine are able to cope much better than I can. They make me feel weak and unworthy - pathetic in a word.

Knowing there are people much woirse off than I am does not necessarily mean I will feel any happier, in fact it just makes me angry at the injustice of people who really suffer in life and I feel ashamed that I haen't fulfilled the potential I have in life compared.

Anyway, here's a little positive quote I found you guys may like:

One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is
listen to each other's stories.
~Rebecca Falls~

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 12:14 am
by Malia
I was just checking out a website dedicated to one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Anthony De Mello, and I came across some great quotes (well, I think they're great, but then I'm biased :lol: )

One quote was from Hellen Keller:
"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."

These are from Anthony deMello:



"Holding a resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person gets sick."

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:42 am
by dks
Those are great, Miss Malia--I love all of Helen Keller's inspirational quotes... :shock:

I came across an interesting one splayed across a local dentist office billboard:

"Change is inevitable. Except from vending machines."

Deep, dude.


PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:14 pm
by Malia
Oh so true, dks ;) :lol:

I have another quote--with very sage advice:

"Never try to teach a pig to sing. It just wastes your time and irritates the pig."

--Anthony de Mello :)

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 5:48 pm
by dks
:lol: :lol:

I like that, Malia!!

Here's another one from that crazy dentist in my neighborhood:

"Never judge a book by its cover, unless you've seen the movie."

So true nowadays, eh? :lol:

PostPosted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 11:23 pm
by Saturn
The flower that smiles today.

The flower that smiles today
Tomorrow dies,
All that we wish to stay
Tempts and then flies;
What is this world’s delight?
Lightning, that mocks the night,
Brief even as bright.—

Virtue, how frail it is!—
Friendship, how rare!—
Love, how it sells poor bliss
For proud despair!
But these, though soon they fall,
Survive their joy, and all
Which ours we call.—

Whilst skies are blue and bright,
Whilst flowers are gay,
Whilst eyes that change ere night
Make glad the day;
Whilst yet the calm hours creep
Dream thou—and from thy sleep
Then wake to weep.

-Percy Bysshe Shelley.

PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 9:48 pm
by greymouse
Lots of these quotes have been very funny to read. Saturn, you are the absolute quote master, they always seem to come to me at roughly the right time for the right need!

PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:11 pm
by Saturn
I swear I post them completely at random.

PostPosted: Thu Aug 03, 2006 12:44 am
by Saturn
"Remember that there is always a limit to self-indulgence, but none to self-restraint."
Mahatma Gandhi