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Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 10:06 pm
by Saturn
Autumn Leaves

Bury me whole in Autumn leaves,
In golden clusters lay me down,
Inhaling the damp brown decay.
For Autumn bides eternal sure
In the crestfallen caverns dug
Deep within a hollowed heart.
Rich in colour, wasting away
They fall like dreams broken;
From the stolen bough bent,
And Sleep's promise is fled.
The crisp, and brittle crunch
Of a hundred footsteps on
That freshly laid coverlet;
Trampling Summer's warmth
Aye into the mulch, the mire
Of a thousand winter's dark
And sodden bog of things
Once bright and swaying
High with the carelessness
Of free seabirds at wing,
________________

Re: Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Mon Nov 08, 2010 10:16 pm
by Ennis
Saturn wrote:Autumn Leaves

Bury me whole in Autumn leaves,
In golden clusters lay me down,
Inhaling the damp brown decay.
For Autumn bides eternal sure
In the crestfallen caverns dug
Deep within a hollowed heart.
Rich in colour, wasting away
They fall like dreams broken;
From the stolen bough bent,
And Sleep's promise is fled.
The crisp, and brittle crunch
Of a hundred footsteps on
That freshly laid coverlet;
Trampling Summer's warmth
Aye into the mulch, the mire
Of a thousand winter's dark
And sodden bog of things
Once bright and swaying
High with the carelessness
Of free seabirds at wing,
________________


That's beautiful, Saturn. I like the opening verse, as well as the play on words in the poem's title. May I also use this poem later in the year when I teach poetry? I'd like the kids to read and compare/contrast your poem with Keats's "To Autumn" and then have them write a seasonal one of their own.

Re: Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 3:51 pm
by marwood
I agree, quite beautiful Saturn.
Take care.
Marwood.

Re: Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 6:12 pm
by Saturn
You may do whatever you wish Ennis, I'm extremely flattered to be even mentioned in the same sentence as Keats. :oops: I think though, that apart from the obvious glance with Keats' affinity with Autumn [which I share] the poem itself is more personal and allegorical than Keats' brilliant ode.

Thanks for your kind words too marwood, as ever.

Re: Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:56 pm
by steffen
A truly exceptional poem, Saturn, from beginning to end. The bold organ tones of your opening lines -----

BURY ME WHOLE IN AUTUMN LEAVES
IN GOLDEN CLUSTERS LAY ME DOWN
INHALING THE DAMP BROWN DECAY

--- seem to me a wonderful echo of these lines from ENDYMION:

. . . let Autumn bold,
With universal tinge of sober gold,
Be all about me when I make an end. (i. 54)

And quite possibly, Keats in turn may have been somehow inspired by these lines from The TEMPEST:

Spring come to you at the farthest,
In the very end of harvest; (IV.i.114)

P.S. These quoted verses which suggest Shakespeare's influence on Keats, I found in "KEATS'S SHAKESPEARE, a descriptive study based on new material", by Caroline F.E. Spurgeon; Oxford University Press, 1928. I came across the 1928 first edition of this book in a Phoenix Arizona book shop. There was a third and last (I believe) edition printed in 1936.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things real, such as existences of Sun, Moon, and Stars-----and passages from Shakespeare.
Letter to Bailey, from Teigmouth, 13th March 1818

Re: Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Sat Nov 20, 2010 8:34 pm
by dks
Saturn wrote:Autumn Leaves

Bury me whole in Autumn leaves,
In golden clusters lay me down,
Inhaling the damp brown decay.
For Autumn bides eternal sure
In the crestfallen caverns dug
Deep within a hollowed heart.
Rich in colour, wasting away
They fall like dreams broken;
From the stolen bough bent,
And Sleep's promise is fled.
The crisp, and brittle crunch
Of a hundred footsteps on
That freshly laid coverlet;
Trampling Summer's warmth
Aye into the mulch, the mire
Of a thousand winter's dark
And sodden bog of things
Once bright and swaying
High with the carelessness
Of free seabirds at wing,
________________


Stephen...this is brilliant enjambment-I love the flow and deliciousness simultaneously...it has a distinctly Irish sound, as well...you really exhibit resonant voice here-I love this...the whole thing-I was looking to isolate an instance that grabbed me best, but it all works so beautifully together, that I couldn't murder it that way...damn. Nice work, good man!

Re: Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 1:38 pm
by titian dj
Hi Saturn,

I've been meaning to reply to this poem for some time and have finally managed to
to grab the computer.

I enjoyed this poem very much. The diction is deliberately archaic, so the inversions don't seem out of place. The opening lines act as a wonderful hook, drawing the reader into the poem. I wondered if the title could be strengthened though. You begin with tight iambic tetrameter, with the occasional substitution, then the meter seems to stray. (however the flow doesn't) From L8 onwards you switch to iambic trimeter with the odd line of I.T. making a reappearance. I'm not sure if you intended this.

I'm willing to provide a full scansion if you so wish. I'll be extremely interested to read your reply because I could very well be missing something.

Haunting stuff, rich and beautiful.

Best,

Bri



Saturn wrote:Autumn Leaves

Bury me whole in Autumn leaves,
In golden clusters lay me down,
Inhaling the damp brown decay.
For Autumn bides eternal sure
In the crestfallen caverns dug
Deep within a hollowed heart.
Rich in colour, wasting away
They fall like dreams broken;
From the stolen bough bent,
And Sleep's promise is fled.
The crisp, and brittle crunch
Of a hundred footsteps on
That freshly laid coverlet;
Trampling Summer's warmth
Aye into the mulch, the mire
Of a thousand winter's dark
And sodden bog of things
Once bright and swaying
High with the carelessness
Of free seabirds at wing,
________________

Re: Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:03 pm
by Saturn
Thank you titian I'm glad you like it.

Re: Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:41 am
by BrokenLyre
I really enjoyed this poem - the many times I read it. The last three lines reminded me of the ending of "On the Grasshopper and the Cricket" - the lovely seasonal throwback. The feel of this ending just felt like the flow of thought I get from reading the Grasshopper poem. Did anybody else sense this?

Re: Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 11:48 pm
by Saturn
I'd like to say that was intentional, but that thought, and that poem never entered my mind. Perhaps in some unconscious way I was channelling Keats [and the title suggests as much of course] so any similarity or resemblance I put down to that great poetic osmosis that happens when one has read so much poetry and thoroughly absorbed it to the very fingertips, it rubs off, it gradually seeps into one's thoughts and will come out, in surprising ways.

Re: Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 12:10 am
by gstormcrow
Thank you, again, for another great poem! Wonderfully written with beautifully macabre imagery. Oh, the melancholy of Autumn . . .

PS I wanted to say that I sincerely appreciate this website and all of the authors for posting their fine, poetic works which obviously was done out of sheer love and joy for their craft. I am completely enthralled yet still craving more. For me, out of the 30 or so I've read thus far, not one poem has lacked in skill or creativity - truly entertaining stuff.

PPS I hope I'm not offending anybody by posting my comments on all these original pieces. If I am, please let me know so that I may quiet down a bit. Thanks, Chip

Re: Autumn Leaves

PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 12:07 am
by Raphael
Really good imagery Saturn and Keatsian in it's feel!